A new day. A new me? Not new but changed. A stroke survivor.
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I went into Roper hospital for heart surgery on March 4, and anticipated to be in the hospital for 3-5 days afterward, but I suffered a stroke and stayed in the ICU until March 10 when I was transferred to the cardiac unit. I had an episode of atrial fibrillation (Afib) on March 12, and received a pacemaker on March 14. The next day I was transferred to the rehabilitation unit. I worked on my rehab until my DC date of April 7. I was not ready to go home, so was transferred to Franke (Keil Health Care Center) for ongoing rehabilitation. I was discharged from there on June 5. I was away from home for three months.
My main deficit was left-sided weakness: my left arm and leg were not working at all – were flaccid. PT taught me how to get around in a wheelchair using just my right arm and right leg (used for steering). The initial results were poor – I was like a drunken sailor in the hallway, veering from one wall to another. I came to accept my deficits, and learn about strokes. I was fortunate to have no speech or cognitive deficit, though I was confused initially. I was grateful to have excellent care from the nursing staff, and skilled help from the therapists, as well as daily visits from my wife Susan.
Both in the hospital and at Franke, a main challenge was coping with the loss of control. Small challenges became magnified. One example – I had been given a therapy ball to use to strengthen my left hand. One day I dropped it and it rolled under my bed, disappearing in a little black hole. Even with my reacher it was unreachable. I finally asked staff for help, and they easily moved the bed away from the wall and grabbed it. I was constantly deciding if I should ask for help, or press the call button. Would I be asking for too much? Some needs were more immediate.
Coping was a challenge, but I received much help and encouragement from many sources, some surprising. The nursing staff included RN’s and CNA’s (certified nursing assistants). One day I expressed to one of the CNA’s that I felt I had taken a step backwards. She replied “My grannie would say sometimes you take a small step backward before a giant step forward.” A RT peer, Al Kaye, shared with me the slogan relating to my recovery – “it is not a sprint it is a marathon”. These words helped prepare me for the work I would need to do.
I stared at the login screen on a computer stationed in my room in the hospital used by nursing to record info on me, e.g. vitals. That screen had a message for nursing “Practice kindness and gratitude.” I made this a practice both in the hospital and the acute care center. I also had to make patience part of my practice. I was known during my employment as a very patient person. This characteristic served me well throughout my recovery. Considering the impact stroke often has, I was grateful that I didn’t have the deficits many stroke victims suffer (swallowing, speech, overall cognition), nevertheless mortality.
My left foot has not been cooperative. Early on it was a heavy burden, a dead weight, that would not move or come off the floor. I had to use a leg lifter (or staff’s help) to pull it up on the wheelchair foot rest otherwise it would drag on the floor and halt progress. Doctors and therapist regularly asked me to wiggle my toes, or kick them, and I was not able to oblige them. My left foot was swollen, and I could not find shoes that would allow me to put a shoe on without help, despite trying many different shoe sizes and styles. The left foot problems have been the most visible symptoms of how the stroke affected my left side but the real issue was how the clot impacted my brain’s communication with my left leg. Paradoxically now my left foot will rise up and not allow me to put it down in certain situations. I still cannot wiggle my left toes.
Time became distorted both in the hospital and at Franke. Both places posted large clocks on the wall across from beds. I watched those clocks at night as a result of my poor sleep. Time passed slowly, and I often lost track of days. Outside of a Franke dining room grew a large hydrangea, and day by day the blooms evolved from white to blue, signally a different pace of time – one that I related to.
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I experienced some firsts at Franke. My first steps with a walker, and gradually increasing distances from 25 feet to 150 feet, and graduating to a rollator walker, and finally walking to the dining room with the rollator for every meal on my own (initially with staff). I also had my first falls there, and staying off the floor became a daily goal (and still is!) There were other tests besides the falls; the Friday before my discharge I was informed I had to move from my current room to another to accommodate the admissions of two women. Despite the move to a private room, I found it quite disruptive, but in retrospect it prepared me for the move back home. There was one last test on my final night where I faced an either/or dilemma, with one of the choices increasing the risk for a fall. I had to problem solve, and successfully put on a shoe on my swollen left foot, a task I had only accomplished on my own only once before. With shoes on, I did what needed to be done, and dealt with another false assumption.
Before my discharge from Franke, Susan and I, along with a Franke therapist, made a home visit to evaluate for accessibility and safety once I went home. At this point, I no longer needed a wheelchair, and was walking with a rollator walker. [Now walking part time with a cane.] Our walkthrough focused on the need for grab bars in the bathroom. Part of the welcome committee were horseflies, first seen at the entrance to the community, that savagely bit several of us.
As I walked out Franke(with the aid of a walker) on my discharge morning, I passed by the director of nursing, who said ‘You came in on stretcher and you are leaving walking out.” Finally coming home after 3 months away was a long time. A different greeting awaited at our community sign. Other positive signs appeared: bluebirds occupying a deck nest house, a swallow-tailed kite observed through a skylight. In the garden the peak bloom of echinacea (cone flowers)
Before my discharge from Franke, Susan and I, along with a Franke therapist, made a home visit to evaluate for accessibility and safety once I went home. At this point, I no longer needed a wheelchair, and was walking with a rollator walker. Our walkthrough focused on the need for grab bars in the bathroom. Part of the welcome committee were horseflies, first seen at the entrance to the community, that savagely bit several of us.
Acknowledgments
The idea to write up my experience came from one of Roper’s rehab hospital’s occupational therapists, Kristin. My friend Beth Cramer worked behind the scenes to facilitate my admission to the Roper Rehabilitation Unit. I received excellent and compassionate nursing care at Roper and Franke. I was the beneficiary of skilled PT’s, OT’s at both places and a Roper RT, and am currently receiving excellent home health OT and PT. A number of friends and neighbors visited me in both facilities. My brother Doug, my son Eliot, and my daughter Sara and her children also visited me when I was in the two facilities, and provided ongoing support. Back at home my house was readied for my return by the timely work of friends/neighbors: Chris Luthy and his friend co-worker Chuck Mooney, and especially my friend Bill Bennett, who oversaw the installation of the vertical lift to my deck where I would be able to get into the first floor of my house. He also laid out and supervised the building of a sidewalk.
At the top of my list for incredible dedication and ongoing daily help has been my wife Susan. I would be at a major loss without her. She visited in Roper and Franke daily. She has been instrumental in facilitating my transition to home.
Bob, it’s amazing to see how far you’ve come and how honestly you’ve shared the ups and downs of recovery. I just wanted to say I’m rooting for you and proud of the progress you’ve made. Keep going! You’ve got a lot of people pulling for you!
Best,
Brandon
Thank you Brandon. I am so grateful for all the people pulling for me.
Thank you so much for sharing this story, Bob. I am oh so glad you are on the mend, and back at home writing. You inspire me to notice the natural world, and all the little details you are so great at describing. I am looking forward to the next installment. -Sarah Book
Working on the left hand in writing, not always cooperating. The next installment, hmm…
Very nice description Bob. You’re a good writer. I’m very sorry you had all of these health problems, but happy to learn more about your progress in rehab. You’ve come along way. Keep up the good work!
Thanks Ray. will keep up the work.
Bob thanks for the reality of aging. I always respected you and you inspired me in my career. Now you’re an inspiration of living life on life’s terms. I first met you on 10N and Susan too. Glad you’re on the mend. Someone should let Bruce Springsteen know his most favorite fan is recovering and doing a darn good job of it. Way to go Bob!
This has been more aging than I could imagine. And a little of the nostalgia of “Glory Days”, to drop that tune into this reply.
I’m so happy to have you back at home, Bob. Your inner strength and determination have helped you in this unexpected journey. I have great faith in your will and ability to regain all of the parts of your life that you have missed. And all of the people in our lives who love you will be beside you and helping along the way.
And I am so happy to be at home. You have been my rock throughout this process.
My gosh, Bob, what a frightening journey. Keep at it. Will keep you lifted up with light and positive vibes.
Thanks Betsey for the light and positive vibes.
Bob, you are such an amazing person. You have helped so many of ‘us’ over the years and it’s time to help you if needed.
Your positivity and awesomeness exudes in everything you do. You are so inspiring.
I know you miss sailing and your nature adventures especially around Cape Romain…….so grateful you have filled pages for us to enjoy as well.
I send all the prayers and well wishes for patient recovery and that you get to be ‘in nature’ as you so dearly love. Turtles are good and we will continue taking care of them as you take care of YOU!
Best wishes sir.
Nora Futrell
Nora I’m glad you are doing all your service work. Talk about inspiring! I do miss Cape Island, and have been vicariously enjoying the goings on out there. Keep posting on FB your experiences – I am following.
I am very happy that you are home, Bob, and making progress each day. Thank you for sharing your story which is inspiring to those who read it. I know my husband had a stroke back in 2014 and he’s made a tremendous recovery. It just takes patience, perseverance, and gratitude which you seem to have for sure! Not to mention loving family and friends. ❤️
Thanks Judy. I am happy to hear that your husband made a tremendous recovery. I have a lot going for me, and appreciate everyone’s support.
As with all you take on Bob, well done. Just so sorry you’ve had so many challenges these last months. Looking forward to visiting and catching up soon. Until then, much love to both you and Susan.
Thanks Julia, see you soon.
Bob, I am so glad to hear about your amazing progress. I had not hears any reports since your stroke. There are few people I know that could work through this better than you. Congratulations! Keep it upand remember to keep patting yourself on the back for your progress (right hand only, for now).
Tom
Thanks Tom, Actually my therapists want me to use my left hand and arm more. Trying, but have “frozen” left shoulder, so limited range of motion. Working on that too.
Thank you for sharing and especially THANK YOU for persevering through these past difficult months. You and Susan are an inspiration and we are so grateful for you and that you are HOME to finish your recovery in the beautiful and peaceful neighborhood we are blessed to live in. Prayers continue for your complete recovery.🙏🙏❤️❤️
Thanks Bonny, you and Chris have helped me so much.
What an incredible story. Thank you so much for sharing! May every day bring you little victories and glimpses of beauty at home!!
Big victory this morning. able to walk up stairs to second floor (and down) for the first time since being home.
Welcome home, Bob!
I’m distressed to learn of your health problems but so pleased to learn of your continuing recovery and your discovery of “a different pace of time.” I was out on Bulls today (mowing, not birding) and saw a Swallow-tailed Kite, my first of the season on the island I think. Looking forward to seeing you on the island again.
I am so out of touch with what’s happening on the island. Have you made any bird surveys recently? Remind me how to access your surveys, Having to remember lots of things (like adding the link in the email).
Dear Bob,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and progress with us, and your kind words about the medical people you met along the way. You were a joy to work with, spreading kindness and compassion to staff and other patients even in your darkest hour.
I have been thinking of you and hoping you were doing well, and am so impressed to learn you are walking, let alone doing stairs! A true testament to your hard work and perseverance.
I wish you continued progress! You are an inspiration to those whose paths you cross, whether in person or through your writing.
All my best,
Kristen
Good to hear from you, Kristen. You helped me so much along with your peers. And you spurred the writing of this post. I plan to visit you all on the rehab unit in the near future. I have a ways to go. Hello to the crew there.
Keep up the great work you do at Roper. Bob
Hey Bob … we’re so upset hearing about your health issues… but by the same token, we are so impressed with your courage, dedication and shear willpower to meet the challenge !
Keep it up and get ready for a nice Fall sail …
We’re thinking about you..
Best … Nancy & Mike
Bob! I am so pleased that you made it home! I know the work you did was hard and I am so proud of you! Cheers to continued progress and thank you for sharing your story!
Best regards!
Amber
AMBER! Good to hear from you. Hope all is well in your world.
Bob, I’d missed your posts, wondered what you were up to. Appears you’ve come back well from a hard blow. No reason to doubt continued success. While we share a common passion I’ve angst over what’s desperately needed, you’ve savored the beauty, the silver lining. I have every confidence that will be your future.
Thanks John. Yes, a hard blow, but it could have been worse.
Thanks for sharing your tough but wonderful story, Bob.
Blessed to know you, encouraged by your example, praying for continuing recovery,
The Bob from the Friends of the Georgetown Library
Thanks Bob, good to hear from you. Appreciate your support.
Bob, that is a hell of a story. Can’t believe the damn horseflies. Sorry to hear about the stroke. Ya still owe me a personal tour of Bulls Island so I need you to come all the way back. I believe if anyone can rehabilitate, it’s you Bob. Let me know if there is anything you need or I can do for you? Gods speed! Austin OMalley
OK, new goals, come all the way back and give Austin a tour. A reminder – you said, due to my genetics, that I would have to be taken behind the IOP and shot to pass. Not yet.
Praying for you and Susan every day Bob. Thank you for sharing the story of what happened and your journey to recovery. You are loved!
Yes, the caregiver needs lots of support too. Thanks Mel for your message.
Wow Bob! So very thankful that you are home! You might remember the very reason for my return to WCU at 46 was bc I had a stroke and I needed to rewire my brain! Studying RT put on my path to further recovery thru the studies and practices of Aquatic Therapy…and most of my patients were stroke survivors…to this day I cannot emphasize the true benefits of proper Aquatic Therapy..get in the water! Helps w balance and all that sensory input aids in recovery! Thank u for hiring me at MUSC…tho I left via ambulance and my beloved career was cut way too short, the lasting gift was learning from and working with you! Can’t wait to read more from your journeys!! Be blessed evermore!
So a fellow stroke survivor. No I did not remember, strokes have been a most unfamiliar malady for me, until now. And yes rewiring my brain with a main focus on my left leg now. Training every day. Working on getting in the water, dealing with a frustrating barrier. Thanks Victoria for your comments, hope all is well with you and yours.
Bob, thank you so much for this post. As always your writing captures details that somehow convey the essence of your experience. In this case such a difficult, prolonged, and ongoing experience. I have read, re-read, and pondered your post for some days. I am especially taken with the statements of encouragement that you report: “My grannie would say sometimes you take a small step backward before a giant step forward.” “It is not a sprint it is a marathon”. “Practice kindness and gratitude.”
Thank you! Keep writing!
English
Thanks Pearcy it has been a while since we have seen each other. I know you have been quite involved as a caregiver. I admire all who take on that role. Been reading about the K-T boundary. Hope all is well with you and yours.
Hi Bob:
Thanks for sharing your journey as it is good to be grounded for folks to get a glimmer of the patience and motivation it takes to work through the recovery process. I am so glad you have navigated the storm and checking the wind as you have sailed back into port. Keep patching your sails and get your boat ready as you venture back out to sea Captain Bob on your next compass heading as I know you have found internal treasures along the way. Very proud of you.
Love and Cheers, Al
So going with the sailing metaphor, heh? I might be dangerous on the water with my “port side neglect”. I really appreciated our phone call when my optimism was low, and you shared your expertise with me. Am continuing the marathon daily. Just got a new cane courtesy of Amazon, starting outpatient therapy on Monday.
Bob
You always have and continue to amaze me!! It is wonderful seeing your incredible recovery and as our good friend Al notes it is a journey but one I know you will make all the way to the finish line and be ready to get back on your beloved boat and water. Like all good Tar Heels you rise to the occasion!
Pam you have always been such a great supporter of me – I really appreciate it. I have had lots of support throughout the process. Very grateful for all.
🙂 and XOXOXO Bob and Susan!
Watching the journey you have both been on has been a lesson in resilience and love.
Now if we can just get the rail on the pool so you can ENJOY some aquatic PT!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Ginny
Hopefully the rail will go on this weekend! You were a main support for me with all you provided, and your regular visits. Thanks for being such a good friend.